What do we regret when our lives come to an end? A nurse who has accompanied many people on their deathbed until they die has written a book that made me very thoughtful.
What really counts in the end? On your deathbed, when you realize that life is coming to an end? After traveling the world in search of the meaning of life, Australian Bronnie Ware finds a new purpose.
She accompanies dying people in the last weeks of their lives. In her book, 5 Things Dying People Regret Most, she talks about wonderful encounters and touching conversations that have profoundly changed her life.
The people she meets realize far too often that they have put their own desires on the back burner and worked too much, that they have taken too little time for family and friends and, above all, that they have not allowed themselves to be happy.
They are thought-provoking insights that remind us of what really matters if we want to leave life with a smile.
5 things dying people regret most is also available as an audiobook - 5 things dying people regret most.
1. i wish i had had the courage to live my own life
Grace does what is expected of her for decades: She marries, has children, sacrifices herself for her husband and the household. She comes to terms with her marriage and doesn't rebel when her husband bullies her.
Grace breathes a sigh of relief when her husband is admitted to a nursing home: "She thought she could start a new life after that," writes Bronnie Ware in her book.
But within a few months, Grace becomes terminally ill. She struggles with herself and makes Bronnie, her nurse, promise "never to let anyone take you away from what you want to do". Ware makes her promise. The old woman dies. "Almost everyone regrets that. There are so many people who go through life doing things most of the time that they think others expect them to do," Ware writes.
2 I wish I hadn't worked so much
Margaret has been waiting over 15 years for her well-earning husband to finally retire. When he agrees after many arguments, Margaret literally blossoms and hastily starts planning. All the trips they wanted to take together all those years!
But it never comes to that, Margaret falls ill and dies. "Of course I loved my work," says John when Bronnie Ware becomes his nurse, "but for what? I lost sight of what was really important, my beloved Margaret." John also regrets that he paid too much attention to what those around him thought of him, that he paid too much attention to his career.
"All the men I cared for said that," says Bronnie Ware. "Almost all of them worked too much and lived too little - because they were afraid of not earning enough money or because of their career."
3. i wish i had had the courage to express my feelings
"Shortly before death, many people realize that they have not shown their feelings even to people close to them," writes Ware. "I wish my family had really known me," a 94-year-old told her in his final days.
"Many people suppress their feelings for the sake of peace, which leads to them settling into a mediocre existence and never becoming what they could have been." Many of the illnesses that her patients developed over the years stemmed from this.
4 I wish I had kept in touch with my friends
Doris has a daughter with whom she used to have a close relationship, so close that the old woman said to Bronnie Ware shortly before her death: "I thought this closeness would always remain." "But life and our busyness got in the way."
It is similar with the old lady's friendships, they have long since fallen asleep, the friends from the past can no longer be found. "Many of my patients regretted that they hadn't invested enough time in their friendships," says Ware. "Everyone misses their friends when they die."
5 I wish I had allowed myself to be happier
Rosemary has become one of the first female managers in her company, but she cannot get over the failure of her marriage. Bronnie Ware meets an embittered woman who only realizes a few days before her death that Ware is right when she says: "We have the freedom to choose."
This realization surprises Bronnie at first. "Many patients don't realize this until the end. They're stuck in old patterns and habits and the comfort of habit."
What now?
Reading these stories made me very sad and thoughtful. I see myself making these mistakes and, above all, many people around me who don't think about it.
We are often caught up in the expectations we have of ourselves and justify a lot of things with my personal absolute bad word "must".
I have to because.... - The absolute standard justification that puts you in the role of victim and puts you in charge of your own happiness.
Ware is absolutely right when she says: "We have the freedom to choose."
DREAMWORK TIP
5 things for a happier and more fulfilling life
- Stay true to yourself.
- Don't work so much.
- Show your feelings and give them expression.
- Maintain your friendships.
- Allow yourself joy in life.
Erhalte mehr Tipps, wie diesen: << Hier klicken >>
What is DREAMWORK
With our DREAMWORK project, we want to encourage reflection and discussion on how we can improve our working conditions at Saalbacher Hof and in our entire industry.
We want to bring more happiness into our lives now and not just at some point when it might be too late.
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We look forward to your comments and a lively exchange of ideas. What do you think about happiness in the workplace? What would you like to change, or what works particularly well for you?
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[jr_instagram id="3"]
hello, although far away i am all the more happy about your commitment! let's become a little happier every day - live to share . . .
best regards to you all from the Philippines
sepp
Dear Sepp, thank you very much for your greetings and wishes, that makes us very happy! Happiness is the only thing that increases when you share it 🙂 Best wishes from us!!!